- This is what it's *really* like when your S.O. is more financially stable than you are
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But when we are marriage-minded and are looking for a LTR possibly leading to marriage , really? Because everyone wants that, too, and we all know it by now. Simply put, to state it is to overstate it. Internet Dating and Relationship Expert. Very, very true When one states, even overstates, the obvious, it appears as if one is hiding something.
Financially Stable… Interesting, what else is important? Looking forward to tomorrow! For the good old days when we learned to date by dating, and where financial stability meant having the bus fare home. So, is the financial stability also cause in motivating your partner to interact with you more…? Hi April, I like when I see a nice detailed computer dating profile description at some singles dating website. Then I can get a general idea about person who wrote it.
April, How right you are to leave out the obvious when writing your online dating profile. When I did look into internet dating and saw someone put this into their profile it was a flag to me. Aoril, I should have taken a workshop of yours before I got married second time. April, another great example of how to or even how not to wrte a profile on a dating site. Your clients are lucky to have you. I agree, people need to go out and try more and experiment, one date does not mean two.
If people are shocked that there was time in the Internet Dating World before digital photos then they will probably be REALLY shocked to learn that people used to do dating through the Personal Ads of the newspaper. April, These people need you desperately.
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Blind dates…you just triggered some bad memories for me with that phrase. They were always a disaster. Has blind dating been outlawed by the Geneva Convention finally? Michael Thorne Smith novels. Hi, April, Financial stability is very important for women, I think… Sometimes men pursue partners for their finances. The exchange is simple: Down Sell for Customer Trust and Loyalty.
I would think that they would contact whomever they found attractive and just try to hide their financial woes as long as possible. The wife earns a lot of money too. Women like to know that they can attract men and personally, I like dressing very classy and I do enjoy most the high end of life. I still think it is important for me to work part time despite having a man in my life who has lots of money.
That is not what attracts me the most- it is more the caring, loving and affectionate side — of course the financial situation helps however I am fully aware of the dangers that money can bring. I agree with this instinct you speak of. We all want pleasure, comfort, and security. My father told me this. I enjoy real men. Men who are comfortable with themselves.
I often see that the matching of rich men and women looking for money and indeed vice-versa primarily for the reasons of money is one of the worst possible matches for a relationship. Whenever you see a big guy and a skinny pretty young girl people presume he has money. Do you think a guys that finds the exceptional woman the first time, if he gets divorced looks for a dumber one?
I must admit, out of all your posts these relationship type articles are the weirdest to read. Seems that most have a bit of a gold-digger slant to them. Really enjoy your pf posts. I would say your personal relationship articles hurts the credibility of this blog. Could you explain why? I find the dynamics of relationship and money fascinating and many people have emailed me and searches for these answers in private before. Why do you think some people want to restrict what I can say and are so stringent?
What else would you like me to do for you? I like that this post gets it out of the way. Especially if the woman wants kids. I think a lot of you guys are completely forgetting that fact. Only women can have kids, so if a woman wants to be rich or at least have enough money to never worry about money again and have kids and actually be there for them , what is she meant to do? Men will never need to worry about this in the same way women will, even if you say you will happily be a stay-at-home dad.
Well, fine, but what if the woman wants to be a stay-at-home mum? I also do not want to be one of those workaholic women who only see their kids after work. Women want to find rich husbands because of the need for kids.. Did the couple ever talk about their ambitions, dreams and future life?
Were kids a definite yes, no or maybe? Then, money can come into play, as well as resent over lack of it. As far as the question of what can a woman do if she wants to have plenty of money to support her and her kids.. And then adopt children? I may be missing something, but that seems a little unreasonable….
Well, the reason it seems like the burden is on the MAN to make money is because, last I checked, most men are not very interested at looking after kids. Especially in Asian countries, most of the men do not want to bother with kids at all and dump it all on the woman. Sure, in an ideal world, a woman should be able to make her fortune and also have enough time to date, get married and have kids.
Unfortunately, the problem is time. To switch roles and suddenly be a stay at home mum and not worry about money anymore.. Of course young women fantasize about having money and spending it more than having kids. But despite what these women say, thoughts of kids will come up eventually.. So thats not the bargain you want.
But thats the whole point. The women in question are not looking for you. What makes you think a financially well off person would not want a younger spouse and kids? So its back to what you said; good communication, and knowing what you want. In this case, a wealthy guy who wants to be the breadwinner and provider. There is nothing wrong with that, just like there is nothing wrong with a woman that wants to have kids. Not adopt kids when she is too old to properly take care of them, but to have her own biological children when she is young enough to enjoy them.
Or are he and his finances just the means to a quicker end kids? Or is this only if he does an inadequate job of loving you? Just not usually a personality trait of someone successful. To be rich, you have to control the most coveted and most squandered asset in the world.
I talk with are under, say, I will probably notice that change when it starts taking place, which is COOL!!! Something else to look forward to. I for one really appreciate the guts and honesty Sam has for writing about such topics. Being able to go out on a limb on a topic where so many women and men think about but are too afraid to address provides huge credibility in my mind. Here you are complaining about credibility? Give me a break. I work with a few thousand brave young men and women who deploy to the desert every day, that takes guts. True, I have no blog and am a consumer of PF blogs only, a point not lost on me and that I freely give to Sam backup a couple posts and read my comments , however, I call bullshit when I see it Janey.
I even show my ugly mug on postings. What else you looking for? Thanks for giving me the green light to go ahead and write a lot of affiliate posts Chris! I really do appreciate it. Going through the dating scene now I can perfectly related to all of your points above. Gotta admit that it is not easy to find your better half so instead I am focusing to be a better me. Sorry for the breakup Hiro. Better earlier than later as I try to always think. Good tactic focusing on a better self. In response, a banker calls this a bad business deal and a depreciating asset.
I never knew there was a response from the girl. Very interesting…thanks for sharing. Although after reading the response…it makes me think that the whole thing was a prank. Still a fun read though. I love them both, but growing up I knew I never wanted to be my mom. Anyways, good advice for single women. I think there comes a point in most of our lives where a successful man becomes more attractive to us than a pretty man. Maybe this happens at about Ahh, a beautiful life with a lack of autonomy. What a predilection of sorts.
To be autonomous is glorious. It is why so many long to quit their jobs and do something on their own. Wise words on there comes a point. It was a tear jerker. Hawaiians really throw the best weddings — so beautiful and fun. They embody true love. Certainly one way to look at it. At the end of the day, money is money but we appreciate our time together and building wealth together.
This is what it's *really* like when your S.O. is more financially stable than you are
On a side note, your post reminds me of Eddie Murphy, back in the day, as he was always talking about wanting a woman who would want to be with him because of him and not his money. It means true love.
That you were lucky to find each other so soon and never really cared about money despite running a personal finance site. A level headed response. May I ask why you think some have taken offense to this post? Does it undermine people?
Dating sites for financially stable | Greenagent
Because from all the conversations and inquiries this topic seems highly interesting to women and men. I wonder, though, is your article based on pointers from successful gold diggers, or from rich men knowing what they are looking for? Because, well, I could probably give you some pointers from real successful gold diggers. I hail from the land of gold diggers, where competition is fierce the above list is not enough. In another life, I sort of…was one.
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Until the day I fell in love with a poor guy who was the love of my life and I decided that I had all the tools to become wealthy on my own. I wanted the respect that came with earning it all on my own. It seems like nowadays that would be the consensus. They would say so because they were never in a similar situation, never had been presented with a such a choice, and think the choice would be so logical, so easy.
But it is weird sometimes, to remember who I used to be. What I used to look like. The keys to the mansion and Ferrari I used to have. Seeing people on TV and magazines that I used to have dinner with. While the new people around me fantasize about that life and saying they would drop everything for it. The same people would be so quick to tear me apart if I ever told them who I used to be though!!!
I suppose this is why I feel ambivalent about the subject. But I suppose for the women who really want to lock down a rich dude, I can advise. It would be fun to talk about it like that. I never really have before. I think I know exactly how you feel. It must also feel annoying to be discredited based on your looks.
How awesome does it feel to make it on your own yeah? The article is based off my personal thoughts and experiences as well as insights from women who have explicitly told me this is their goal. Anyway, Sam, you did it again. I actually did not have a method I could share and nothing I did or what happened to me can really be replicated. I had a genuine connections with them!
You said your goal was to incite introspection and you have done just that. Forcing myself to think about it was better than therapy. I also wanted to mention that I think that in general, your article is good relationship advice period. Not just for women who want a rich guy, but for any woman who wants any guy. Most guys think the way you describe in your article! I dated a rich man for 7 months.
I was not interested in him at the start. I am self employed, and put 2 kids through college. I run my own life. Then I fell for him….. He was very good to me, we connected on every level… Then the magic day came… I had a bump in the road with my business, and was feeling emotional leading up to this day. The day I asked him to help me financially because I needed it is the very day he suddenly broke it off…. I never asked for a thing, I pay for my own possessions etc.
I was shattered that he did not have my back….. Meanwhile I am here giving him my time, love and attention, moving my schedule to suit his corporate schedule as we would never see each other or find a connection otherwise. He agreed and was thankful that I would do this. It was the first time I really put a man first…. Yikes, sorry to hear about him not having your back. In fact, it would be my honor if you were my lady. I was and still am trying to find answers, researching, reading the mentality behind it.
I mean could he be so insecure to think that I could not love him for him? And I did not appreciate not having my back the most….. When a regular guy would and did help in a minute flat…. Maybe he grew up extremely poor and has fears of going back. It is tough to say. Sometimes, the more you make the stingier you become. Even if your kids are like dying or you have to live on the street. This is SO important. I know because being someone who came from no money to suddenly making money, all my poor friends seemed to suddenly want to borrow money.
Hence why, I mention this. If you do it right, they will happily hand money over without you ever needing to ask for a penny. Can a wealthy man marry another wealthy woman. I am considered over ambitious and according to my parents, my overambitiousness is unhealthy for a lady like me because they think I ll never get married. They say men will be afraid of me. It depends more on personality and appearance imo. I think wealthy women are great! The article made me laugh. Where does your experience come from? Some of the advices as I think are exactly the opposite of what the woman should do.
When I tried to show interest at dating sites and asked men questions about their jobs — they just disappeared or avoided answering. If the woman goes away for 3 months as it was adviced to follow her goals or goes away to parties alone with friends all the times — I doubt any man, not only a rich man, will be happy with, when she returns back no wonder if she finds some substitute at her place. But if some less atractive woman passes by in short skirt and high heels she is still looked at.
One important thing was missed, rich men want only women under 30 or under 25, if you are older than that the chances are deminishing increasingly. It seems these advices saying that the woman should be independent to attract a man concern the middle class men which are well off. Second, communication skills are really important speaking, writing in shorter paragraphs, etc.
I think you need to work on that if you speak close to the way you write. I agree with nearly every thing in this article and find it spot on. For my case though I disagree that money makes me feel more attractive. I want her to want me for my hardworking ethics and I seek that in a woman mostly as well. My daughter is a pretty young lawyer from a middle class family and is married to a handsome young, rich doctor from a wealthy family.
All things being equal, what seemed to charm him the most was that, although she had dated many men over the years, she had only been intimate with one man before him. He was actually quite sexually active before he met my daughter which is why she insisted on std testing before they were intimate! Thanks for sharing that there are guys out there who see the worth of reaching for the apples at the top of the tree.
I met a rich guy a week ago , he is really handsome and all. He started talking dirty with me on our chats and i played along. He then suggested that we meet in his office and have some fun , i told him that i really like him but i am not that kinda gal.
He started telling me about how he has taste , class in women and has dated a lot of celebs and travelled the world. I felt so bad. He even said that difficult women turn him off. Now i am in a dilemma. I really like this guy but i dont want to compromise my values for that. What should i do …. What you should really do is tell him to back off, show no weakness. I never dated a rich guy but I dated a guy who came from a former rich family, meaning he was raised in a rich environment.
That is SO laughable, he got two cars, paid college tuition, several loans and his mother and sister are always there to aid him in food and clothes, a free roof over his head into his mid twenties. How insightful but I have a question, FS. I believe wealthy people tend to be savers that live ridiculoulsy below their means. I do free clubs and activities, which just reflect a cross-section of society. So… where are they really? Sounds like they are, like me, at the office working late on their own. Thank you for the article. Apart from providing the very obvious tips it also gave a huge insight to the life of the wealthy — how they think and what they value.
And how to think like the wealthy. Made the rich more human. That it offers choices and experiences and satisfaction from life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and I hope you find someone you love, if not already. Once I had a short relationship with a Rich boy who was 4. Then I dumped him because I got to know he is a flirty. But we are still good friends and he still appreaciate me.
At that time what I understood is for a Richman what is more important is if you will accept him even without his money. This boy I met was the only son of a rich dad. So he mostly attract women for his money. But if you can appreaciate him for himself , he will fall for you more than anyone else.
And of course Richmen like independant women. If you can show him you do not want his money, but only him that will be a big plus. Hi, got to this post because I am finding myself in a similar situation. I met him at a conference and I was my friendly self. He had the sincerest smile and I found him interesting.
I was surprised that he invited me for dinner afterwards. By the way, he is 22 years older than me. When we met, he automatically concluded that I was older because of my position in the industry. He would text me each morning when he wakes and at night before he sleeps…and would call me at least once a day.
It feels wonderful but I am scared. Of what, I am not sure He is usually formal when we meet. But can get free with his emotions in texts. He has invited me for an overnight stay in one of his beach houses as his guest but I have not yet obliged him. I feel it is too soon. For someone who is secured in herself, I suddenly feel nervous around him.
I am even tempted to end whatever this is that is starting. Some of you are sounding like a bunch of gold digging bitches, if I was a rich man I would run for the hills. Remember they will have the upper hand. How about findinging someone you respect and if they happen to be rich great. How about getting your SHIT, nothing is sexier than a woman who has her own and holds her own. Most rich men are fairly loyal family men. They are the breadwinners at the later part of life, but they often meet their significant other before they are wealthy, and sometimes the wife needs to support them in the beginning.
I have never noticed that wealthier men are likely to be scoundrels. And many of the wealthier men I know, hang around with poorer friends they have known all their life. But then, if you love someone, you protect them, thats how all men are. I think if you asked a wealthy man if they wanted a wife that was independently wealthy, they would say; yes, but I also think they would be lying.
They like the control being the one with the money gives them, even if that control is largely imaginary. I am married to a rich man… He is always busy and spends no time for me… always tired, even in bed. Hello, are there any nice. If there is anyone that wants to chat. Can you handle lying all the time? Are you a good actor?
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You better take a drama class in college before you try this shit…ya damn hoe. This topic had to be written by a real Stupid woman, and first of all there just so many very high maintenance women out there today looking for a rich man. Having money and a career means that you have your shit together. In fact my guy friend said that I am one of the few women he knows that has their shit together that is available. He told me that the people he worked for were rich! I was so confused as he has no idea what really is rich. I like the honesty, but the perception of the world at his age is skewed.
God forbid if many of you women had to work as hard as the women back in the old days, and both men and women back then had to struggle to make ends meat. My life has recently changed drastically as my wife of 17 years passed away in October after battling breast cancer for 5 years. I never pictured myself dating in my 40s I was 43, now 44 as I was happily married. However, you must go with the cards life deals you. I did need help as I have 3 younger kids. One woman who was a friend of my wife and is very attractive was over all the time. Well, we did end up dating. It ended after a few months.
She was 49, very attractive, twice divorced, and broke. She began borrowing money from me. Larger and larger amounts. She talked marriage say what? She wanted to buy a very large, expensive house together. She liked borrowing my Audi. I was in a grief fog so I was pretty blind to all this at the time. I look back now and realize, wow, what was I thinking. I got out before major damage. I later found out the trail of financial destruction she had bestowed upon another man a few years prior.
She still owes me a lot of money. However, if need be, my attorney says I have an airtight case to sue her for the money. I can relate to this article. I am very sorry for your loss. I am sure your children are devastated as well. So sad that a your wife and mother was separated from her family in this way. I just want to say that you are a very fortunate man to have had such a loving wife and children.
It is obvious that she did provide you and your kids with a certain amount of emotional support. Then she was very aggressive about economic security for herself. While I certainly understand why you would push her away at this point, bear in mind that she did provide comfort, despite her ulterior motives. If you feel the economic price you paid is too high, I would definitely get a lawyer involved. If it is an emotional price, I would recommend you walk away having been the wiser.
Unfortunately many people are taken advantage of by opportunistic people who leave psychological and emotion ruin in their wake. Ask yourself what the reason for pursuing a lawsuit might be. I would think, from the sound of your comment, that the main reason you would take legal action would be to help prevent someone else from falling prey to this woman and to shine a light on her ulterior motives. If not too much money is at stake, I would not push for the money as she did help you with your children in your time of need. Obviously she is a very needy woman.
Perhaps the only reason to make a case of it is to warn another widower in advance. How much would you be willing to pay an attorney? An expensive personal vendetta on top of losing your wife might not be worth it. Perhaps the emotional toll her actions have taken on your family is so heavy that a legal case may be therapeutic for you.
You sound like a sober minded individual. Proceed cautiously and you will make the best decision for your own peace of mind. I hate sound repetitive, but loads of single people who are never married with no kids get mislead by a romantic partner every day of the week. Only you can determine if it is worth going to a court of law. That said, I would not condone any person trying to manipulate another in their time of grief.
It is morally wrong. I can tell you the conduct I have seen first hand upon the death of a loved one can be atrocious. Perhaps this woman needs a wake up call. It is nice to be kind. You got out of it soon enough. I hope the economic loss was not too great.
I have never date a rich man in my whole life. I would like to meet one very rich man that can take me from this life of misery. It sounds as though English is your second language, due to the ungrammatical sentence you posted. You need to improve yourself. A wealthy man is not going to marry someone from a third world unless that person is also successful, i. You have to rescue yourself. Did you know interracial marriages are surprise for you more successful?! People like you living in their own bubble get on my nerves.
I think this article is very interesting. But I do disagree with many of these points. In that I feel like the expectations that money can attract quality women is off. I think money, like any other advantage in life eg. Most people end up marrying those that they like and are just around. People who are of equal social status tend to marry one another. I think sensible rich men would try to marry rich women and so on so forth.
Because it is just easier that way. Take for example the following pairs: All of these people are about equal attractiveness, education background, upbringing, career field, and equal accomplishments. Unequal pairings tend not to last. If you want a rich spouse, then you need to become rich too. What do they all have in common? They are about equal. These women married up and knew what they were doing. You kind of dissproved your point. He said a long time ago a girl would have to be very understanding to be with him. I learn a lot from him about running a business, wealth, etc. There is truly no one in this world like him and I really enjoy his company!
Plus, some of the nice things he has are just fun sometimes! Glad you are happy! What culture are you from? How does this work? Natalia This is the story of my life that i am still pondering upon even as i write this article. I maybe judged and i may not be but even if i am judged, no one can ever know my real personality or family.
I have been asking myself if i should let the world know about this or maybe i should just keep it to myself cos most people might think am crazy. All the same am telling my story. Before my husband, i have been married to five different men. Yeah five, all five marriages failed after six months not cos we had problems or the relationships was on the rock they just come and go without good reason. It was easy to say i was cured by someone or something. The entire puzzle of my life just seem to fall into place when i met my present husband i fall hardly in love with him like he also did.
But we are going to be expecting you to have accomplished something in your professional career to compensate for that. That to me is a just as impressive, if not more, than someone who went to Tier 1 university. Each community is capped at about 10, Krista White, 23, lives in Silicon Valley, California and works in public relations. She studied theater at Columbia University. She has been on the waitlist for The League since February. He too lives in Silicon Valley. Daniel Ratcliffe, 25, also did not have to wait too long before making it into The League.
I was like No 11, and I thought: I am not sure what their criteria is for accepting members. Ratcliffe said he wondered if he would get in — after all, he did not attend an Ivy League college. He, too, likes that his dating profile on The League looks more professional and that he is able to connect with other hard-working people his age. It would just be a waste of both of our time if he is racist.